An Astrological Guide To Doing The Dishes

It’s fun to consider various ways of doing everyday things from an astrological perspective. Let’s take doing the dishes, for example. How would the 12 different signs of the zodiac modify the approach to doing this household chore? This task is related to home, family, meals, etc., so we should most likely use the Moon as the significator. So, how do twelve different Moon signs prefer to do the dishes?

Moon in Aries:  Put everything in the sink. Squirt on some soap. Turn the water on. Go do something else while the sink fills. Take dishes out, giving them a quick wipe at the same time they are being rinsed. Definitely let them air dry. Done.

Moon in Taurus: Methodically place dishes on the counter, the way you always do it. (This is probably how your ancestors did it, too.) Fill one sink with comfortably warm water and add your favourite detergent — the one with a fragrance that is appealing to you. Fill the other sink with comfortably warm rinse water, perhaps adding some kind of rinse agent if that’s your routine. Start with the crystal items and other expensive glassware. Allow items to soak awhile, gently swirling the water around them. Choose a freshly laundered dishcloth and caress each item in turn as you watch them return to their original, pristine condition. Transfer to rinse water and let them soak there a minute or so. Remove items to drying rack — the one you’ve always used. Pick each item up one by one and wrap in a pillowy soft drying towel, imagining how comfy it must feel. Return each item to it’s designated home in the kitchen. Repeat the procedure with the china plates and saucers, then the silverware. Drain the two sinks and refill them before attempting the pots and pans. When everything is clean and tidy, scan the kitchen to make sure all items are where they always go.

Moon in Gemini: Bring the cordless phone over to the sink. Call a friend and set the phone to speaker-phone. (The television might have to be turned down a little.) Talk about your day and get the latest news from your friend while you select items in random order to be washed. Hopefully you will get everything washed this time, but if you have to stop halfway through, that’s okay. Something else might be more important than doing the dishes. Air dry items — the ones that did make it through the washing part.

Moon in Cancer: Have each family member do their designated chore — whether clearing the table, getting the sinks ready, getting the towels from the laundry. Put on your apron. Fill the sink with hot water and add the detergent your mother always used. Remember how it felt when you used to do dishes as a family with her, and tell your children how much you love them. As long as that’s done, it really doesn’t matter what you do from here on.

Moon in Leo: Are you kidding? I’ll be entertaining in the living room.

Moon in Virgo: Bring all dishes to the kitchen and place them in their designated spots on the counter, being careful to align utensils with their handles towards you, knife blades to the right. Pre-wipe dishes with a recyclable cloth. Wash hands. Moisturize hands with a product containing organic oils. Put on disposable gloves, then wear rubber gloves on top of those. Fill the sink with 4 litres of hot water, measuring at least to 120°F on your instant-read thermometer. Add 15 ml of environmentally-friendly, anti-bacterial detergent. Fill a second sink with even hotter water, adding a splash of white vinegar as a disinfecting treatment. Wash items thoroughly using a clean cloth, and allow them to soak in the rinse water at least 30 seconds. Transfer to drying rack that has just been sanitized. Let the dishes air dry, being careful not to come in contact with them in the process. Return items to recently-disinfected kitchen cupboards. Remove rubber gloves. Remove and dispose of other gloves. Apply more hand moisturizer. Resume other household tasks according to your list.

Moon in Libra: Holding the hand of your significant other, ask if he/she would prefer to wash or dry. Agree with whatever is said. Ask if there is any preference for detergent — scented or unscented, oxygenated bubbles or not, antibacterial or not. Ask if it is better to use a sponge or cloth. Agree with all of your partner’s choices. Start by washing the two wine glasses. As you or your partner washes the two plates, comment on how beautiful the dishes are and that you always loved that colour or pattern. Wash the two forks, the two knives, the two spoons, rinsing them before placing them in pairs in the drying rack. The pots and pans have been washed beforehand because, really, who wants to come into a messy kitchen after a lovely dinner together? Ask if your partner would like an after-dinner drink. Turn on some quiet music and light the candles.

Moon in Scorpio: Close the curtains. Do the dishes however you want. Nobody has to know. In fact, nobody needs to know if you had dinner or not, for that matter. Peek through the curtains to see if any of your neighbours are in their kitchen doing dishes. Notice how you are feeling at this moment. Stop and just breathe. Is the same feeling still there? Has it changed? Have you changed as a result?

Moon in Sagittarius: Grab as many plates as you can. With the boldest steps possible, make a big entrance into your kitchen, laughing over a joke you just told. Comment on the meal, saying it was just like the one you had when you visited Italy, Dubai, Thailand, or wherever you went on last month’s excursion. Are there any leftovers? Probably not. But if there are leftovers, tend to those first — you wouldn’t want to waste anything. Fill the sink with lots of water. Add lots of detergent. Watch as the suds get really big. Discuss with someone the purpose of suds. Do they result in better cleaning or do they simply make people think they are getting better cleaning. Discuss other parallel concepts. Ask prodding questions. In no time, the dishes will be done and you will have explored many of life’s great mysteries.

Moon in Capricorn: Make sure you have enough dishes ready to be washed in order that it be worth the amount of time and soap you will be investing in this activity. Using a detergent that has proven to be of good quality (and at an affordable price), add just under the recommended amount to a sink of water. Work at getting those dishes clean. Scrub hard. Enjoy the effort you are putting into it, knowing that the results you get will be very satisfying. Appreciate that you have been able to keep using the same dishes for several years now. Who needs to buy new ones? That’s just wasteful. Besides, they don’t make them like they used to.

Moon in Aquarius: Are you people mad? Just use a dishwasher! It’s better to use the latest model, too. Lease one if you can, making sure you can upgrade anytime you want. Get one with a remote control so you can turn the thing on from anywhere — even via the internet.

Moon in Pisces: First of all, do you feel like doing the dishes? Can you visualize yourself doing the dishes? Once that’s established, slowly fill the sink with water, letting the stream of water flow through your fingers. You say you’re checking the temperature, but really you are lost in the concept of “flow”, of time passing, of cycles turning, of waterness itself, and how spirit moves like water. Someone prods you actually to put a dish in the sink. You remember why it is you are standing there, and take the cap off the bottle of liquid soap. You smell the aroma. “Spring garden,” the bottle says, and you are drawn to a memory of lilies, of hyacinths, of alyssum… Is that gardenia? The water swirls around each plate that you lower into the depths of the sink. Plummeting downward they go until they rest on the stainless-steel sink floor. Some food particles break away and float to the surface. Others are mired below, imprisoned by overturned goblets or saucers. How do they feel?, you wonder. “If I could cling to a bubble, would I? Would I be drawn to the surface to be rescued? Do I wait?”

So did you recognize yourself in any of these scenarios?